It never ceases to amaze me that every guy I meet is a disappointment. I don't understand how Karma works anymore if I continue to do the right thing, treat people correctly, work my ass off, keep my house clean, be happy with myself, and shit keeps coming back to me. When someone tells you they'll call you and they're gonna come up to see you, then why the fuck do you end up sitting by the phone all day (because my cell is off), not going anywhere, calling the bastard, and not hear back from him. It just fucking wracks my brain wondering what the fuck I have done in this lifetime to deserve such a non-existant love life. Am I really that huge of a bitch? Am I really that horrible, unattractive, ignorant, uninteresting, etc? Am I just fucking not worth it at all? I mean what's the God-damned hold up? People give me their phone numbers and never answer their phone, never call back. People make promises continuously that they never keep. People date me and then decide that I'm not good enough all of a sudden. How long do I wait before I give up and become a lesbian or a nun? It's just getting a bit ridiculous. My self esteem had built up to the point that I wondered if I would ever feel down again, if I would ever go to therapy. Then that cycle starts all over again. I'm not looking for love in all the wrong places, I'm not looking for love at all... guys just find me, and when I decide to give them the slightest chance... even a date, this shit happens. Without fail. 100% of the time.
I guess God is sending me a sign. He won't tell me what my goal in life is, but he'll sure as Hell tell me that I'm not ever supposed to find anyone. Fucking A.
Hope you guys have a better day than I did.
Michelle, you know you are the most intelligent beautiful person on the inside and out that I know, and I think all of the things you said about yourself are just a crock of SHIT! Im always jealous of your qualities. Hell, If I were a guy or a lesbian and you werent already my bestfriend Id date ya.....and I would call you back when I said I would. I might even pay for your dinners too! Tee Hee, I love you girl....Dont cry emo kid.
Posted by: Natalie at June 5, 2004 11:04 PM*hugs*
Fuck men!
You are hot, you are not a bitch!
You are just a great ass girl
God is telling you to say fuck you to men and continue living your life the way you want with your friends and acheving your goals.
See ya tonight if you work!
If you want I will make you some speghetti O's and a glass of milk.
Posted by: francoamerica at June 8, 2004 01:35 PM