clever minx

Always the bridesmaid ;)

Well, I've actually got a date lined up for tomorrow night. There is the same old feeling of bitterness, the just knowing that he'll be wrong for me and the conversation will be forced, etc. There is the same old depression of "he's just not the same as so and so" or "God, what will I say?", "will I be interesting enough?". All the doubt, all the fear, all the what have you's. Then again, there is always this tinge of excitement, this hopeful feeling. A smile crosses my face and I realize I have so much in front of me. Even if THIS isn't my guy, there is still the first date, the first walk to the front porch, the first kiss, the first realization that you love the same bands/movies, the first touch, the first "I love you". Even if this isn't the BIG BANG, one day I will have all of these firsts with someone again. And THAT makes me smile, that makes all the sad songs sound beautiful again, that makes all this seem somewhat worthwhile. Wish me luck. :)