clever minx

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, leave me alone

I want to know who wrote the book on soul mates. I want to meet this bastard who thinks I'm "still young" and "the right one will come along eventually". I want to know which small brained pion actually believes that there is one person in the universe just for me and when, exactly, I am going to come across this person. I don't know who you are, but you need a better editor, apparently. I have found that there is at least one person for everyone who is going to be the cheater. There are one or two people who are going to be perfect until they decide that YOU are the one who is not perfect for them. There will be one or two who get violently angry and either lay hands on you or throw things at you. There will be the crush who seems to always be getting back together with his or her girlfriend or boyfriend. And then come the ones who worship you and won't leave you alone who will never be your type. Those can also fall under the category of people you've been unfortunately "set up" with. None of these, however, would fall under any sort of "forever" category. I do believe there can be friends that you were meant to come in contact with through the "powers that be" or "karma", but everyone needs to stop with this soul mate crap. It's a bunch of bologna (baloney), and I only like bologna fried and on bread with mayonnaise. I am funny, smart, pretty, interesting, spontaneous, and overall fucking great. If I never find a man, then I never do. That doesn't mean everyone needs to tell me "there's still time" or "you just haven't met the right person". Listen closely: I have a notion that there is NO right person. There may never be. But if you'll be my friend instead of my match-maker, then maybe my lonely life won't be so terrible. A-thank you.
Your miserably lonely friend ;)
The Michelle