clever minx

Claustrophobic

I'm feeling claustrophobic. People's internal clouds of conversation cluttering my space like cereal spilled on the kitchen floor. I hear my brother thinking over his disgust for homosexuals. "There's no sense in them coming to church when they're just going to hell, anyway". What about the murderers, rapists, alocoholics who beat their wives to death.... they have a better chance? I'm puzzled and saddened. My dad's contempt for my chosen lax lifestyle. "If you had done what I said when I told you to, you wouldn't be in this situation". Sure, dad. I'd be a drug-addicted alcoholic with a failing marriage and two redneck children. I'd be in and out of jail, never would've attended college, and would be working at the Golden Gallon. Sounds like fun. So unhappy that I decided to be educated and free spirited. I hear my Captain saying "It's only two weeks over seas. Can't die in two weeks". Sure you can. It wasn't hard in Fallujah..... I hear the silence of the friends who used to be there, but don't have enough time now. ".............." I cried. And someone hugged me. I don't want to be hugged, I just want to cry. I just wanted to get the tears out, they've been lingering there so long. Why do people choose to be so ignorant? Why do people choose to be so distant? Why do people choose to make no big deal out of things that ARE a big deal to someone? Hold onto your inner monologue. Stop allowing your clouds to float into my space. I've got enough on my mind.